The Confidence Solution - Book review
The Confidence Solution - Seven steps to confidence was written by clinical therapist and coach Chloe Brotheridge.
The book was published in 2022 and is filled with science-backed steps on how to not only gain but keep confidence, once we have unlocked it. I had the physical copy on my shelf for a while and decided to pick it up just before the new year. It seemed to have found me at the right time! :)
In the next section I will dive into what The Confidence Solution is about, my thoughts on the exercises, and my final verdict. In case there are any spoilers, you will be warned ahead so you’ll get to decide whether you’d like to continue reading this blog post or come back after you’ve read the book. ;)
The blurb
Many young women struggle with confidence, compulsive people-pleasing, and an inability to speak up and ask for what they really want. Now, Chloe Brotheridge offers her expert advice on how young women should take up space, speak up, and put themselves first.
We often think that confidence is either something we have or don't have, but it can be built like a muscle. Chloe herself used to have panic attacks during presentations but can now confidently present to hundreds of people. The key to her transformation was to create more time and space for herself, to say 'no' to things that aren't in her own best interests, and to stop worrying about what other people think of her.
The Confidence Solution reveals how everyone can follow their path to confidence.
*Previously published as Brave New Girl *
(source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54606924-the-confidence-solution)
Thoughts on the book
I found the book super easy to get into. Chloe presents actionable steps and chapters in bite-sized pieces and although the book can be read front to back, I believe you could also look up the table of contents and just take or read what you need :) It felt a like a big sister or your best friend sharing pieces of advice with you if she wasn’t afraid of hurting your feelings - I mean that in the best way possible.
I love that the last pages of the book feature an index and further resources you may want to check out in the book. My favorite word from the index is bitchiness.
A few years ago, I made a decision that I don’t want to be involved in gossip and bitchiness. I’m inviting you to join me.
This was written on page 66 and really made me stop to think about my own patterns - how I may have been dimming someone else’s light by projecting my own insecurities or secretly admiring people for their courage. I’m joining Chloe. Brotheridge in her no bitchiness club.
Something I really appreciated while reading The Confidence Solution were the summary boxes found at the end of each chapter! I find that reading nonfiction or self-help books can often feel like having to process a million new pieces of information at once. You’re left to your own devices to figure out what you had just read. A summary from the author sure helps a ton (if you are not already taking your own notes/annotating)!
Memorable parts of the book
This section will include spoilers of the book. You have been warned :)
“The ego is your sense of self-importance and I believed that us shy people were somehow better because we had smaller egos” - what a fresh point of view I have never considered! This reminded me of a talk I listened to some time ago where the speaker mentioned that taking up space won’t dim somebody else’s light.
The feelings wheel. I often find myself at loss for words when I am hurt - a feelings wheel was something that had not come to my mind to look up that anger is not always anger, but perhaps feeling critical or hurt.
Talk back to your limiting beliefs. How often have we told ourselves that our dreams were silly or even worse, were told who we thought we were to believe we could one day achieve that. Our limiting beliefs are often mean and hurtful and not helping when it comes to building up the courage and confidence to go after what we want. The connected exercise from Chloe was a great way to tackle that issue!
Verdict
4/5 stars
overall a great book! Some information was not necessarily new to me or did not fit into my personal life at this time, so I had no point of reference or was able to relate quite well.