I gave up before I even started
There are many dreams I gave up before I could start to hope. Some of them still haunt me to this day. From doubts to financial struggles, here is why I gave up, before I even started.
To be an author
I remember quite fondly how I used to not only used to love reading but also writing. Ever since the young age of 8 years, when I learned that being an author was an actual career, I wanted to be one. I wanted people to immerse themselves in the fantastical and whimsical worlds I had built from my imagination - using nothing but the power of words.
And when I told my then classmates about an idea I had for a story - including the first 20 pages I had typed out - some kids responded “But doesn’t this just sound like every other story right now?” (To be fair, it was set in a dystopian world, way back when The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner, and Divergent were booming”
A spark of fragile joy was extinguished by the weight I had given to other people’s opinions.
I gave up becoming an author before I had even really started. But fast forward from my early teenage years to my late twenties:
I found my spark again!
I am finally writing again. I first started to write a blog in 2019, but stopped after feeling like nobody would enjoy reading what I would write. I failed and restarted 6 years later - now in 2025 - with the mindset: “I am writing because it brings me joy” and now, here we are :)
To be a chef
There is something about food that I find incredibly fascinating - from knife skills to the way science and culture intertwine. Food is its own language, and I wanted to learn how to speak some of it. So the dream of becoming a chef/food photographer/recipe developer was born.
I must admit, I can perform well under stress, but put me under pressure for too long and I will break like a piece of porcelain fell from the table top.
I enjoy prepping food when I get to do it at a pace that allows me to learn even if that might take longer than the time that I would be granted as a chef in the kitchen. These days, I admire from afar and enjoy the eating part of cooking (mostly, because by the time I am done cooking, I am mostly full from tasting what I prepared)
There are still aspects of hospitality - especially when combined with food - that I love. I truly enjoy gathering people and have them sit and laugh together at a table while I get to serve them dishes from my test kitchen. Since my social battery runs out quickly, I enjoy being part of what is happening from a slight distance.
Anyhow, my love for food and culture continues to grow. There is so much to learn - and so little time.
To be a nurse
There was a time in my life when I genuinely thought that my dream was to live out somebody else’s dream. In this case my mother had always wanted to become a nurse. Civil war any many more obstacles had taken away that opportunity, but a part of her dream still lived through me.
So I too thought I wanted to become a nurse.
Until over the years we have both come to the mutual conclusion that that may just not be the path of my choosing.
I learned how to say no and thus, also said YES to more things that brought me joy.
to be a teacher
I was had been a language tutor for 10 years from age 15 to 25 and during that time I also believed that becoming an actual language teacher would be something I would see my future self doing. Yet again, I am pretty sure that I would have burned out quickly.
I am still only learning how to say no in my late twenties. I often tend to attach my work to who I am as a person. However, teaching is not about me, it never was - it’s about the honour I would have had to educate our future generation. What a huge responsibility!
At the end of the day I had to confess to myself that I wanted to do something more creative. So teaching in this case was a short-lived dream.
Concnlusion
In some ways, all of my former goals and dreams still accompany me to this day, perhaps just not as career choices but as genuine interests. I believe that there is an infinite amount of knowledge one can try to acquire, so I try to be a life-long beginner.
I would love to hear about your former dreams, if you are chasing or leading them, or why you have decided on another one. So please feel free to write to me or comments below! :)
Stay curious and BE BOLD,
Soso